Van Halen News Desk

The Latest News & Info about The Mighty Van Halen

  • Home
  • News
    • All Van Halen News
    • Eddie Van Halen
    • David Lee Roth
      • The Roth Show
    • Alex Van Halen
    • Wolfgang Van Halen
    • Michael Anthony
    • Sammy Hagar
    • Gary Cherone
  • Bios
    • Eddie
    • Alex
    • Wolfgang
    • DLR
  • Music
  • Audio
    • Live Audio
  • Video
    • Live Video
  • Interviews
  • About
  • SHOP
You are here: Home / 2020 / Watch ‘Not Your Teacher’ – Van Halen Parody

Watch ‘Not Your Teacher’ – Van Halen Parody

by Eric Senich — updated June 15, 2020 Leave a Comment

Homeschool work has never been quite like this. 

The Van Halen News Desk knows that parents could use some comic relief these days. After all, dealing with the challenge of keeping your children educated at home during the COVID-19 crisis is no easy task. Below is a brand new parody called “Not Your Teacher”. It’s produced by The Holderness Family, who has released a series of parody videos.  After having to homeschool their kids, they decided to honor teachers with their own take on the Van Halen classic “Hot For Teacher”. 

“I swear my homework was never quite like this. We cannot tell you how much you rock, teachers! Happy Teacher Appreciation Week! We know social distancing is hard. #StayHome and laugh #WithUs – we will be making songs, skits, and vlogs to keep you smiling! #NotYourTeacher, ” says the Holderness Family.

And now class, please take your living room seats and watch “Not Your Teacher”:

So, can you remember all of the lyrics? Don’t worry, no pop quiz coming but here’s a cheat sheet just in case you didn’t catch them all:

Ok, so my kid hands me this problem:

At 10:32, a 200-foot long train enters a tunnel going 30 mph.

How long is the tunnel if the back of the train gets halfway through the tunnel at 10:34?

I’m like how do you even start to figure this out?

Woooooaaahhhhh!

I mean I drew a picture, and the picture is really stupid

It looks nothing like a tunnel

How the heck do teachers explain this to our kids?

I really suck at homeschool

We are stuck in quarantine, I get made and I get mean

How do teachers always keep their cool?

I just looked at all of the answers that I missed

Oh no, my homework was never quite like this

Woooooooahhhhhh!

I got it wrong, got it wrong, got it wrong

I’m not your teacher

I got it wrong, so wrong

I’m not a teacher

Kim jumps in and she’s like, “If it goes 30 mph that’s a mile every two minutes right?”

“So the tunnel is two miles long.”

Easy, peasy got it right.

Then she’s like, “Crap, I have to do the back of the train?”

“That’s just mean and who cares about the back of the train?”

“When Usain Bolt crosses the finish line…

…they don’t ask you when his butt crossed the finish line!”

C’mon!

Now she’s got a headache and she’s screaming at the board

She’s acting kind of like a jerk

She thinks let’s just Google it?

But the boy says, “Don’t forget

It don’t count unless we show our work.”

And there are 17 more problems just like this

Oh no her homework was never quite like this

Woooooooahhhhhh!

Got it wrong, got it wrong, got it wrong

She’s not your teacher

She got it wrong, so wrong

She’s not your teacher

Rate this post

Filed Under: 2020, News, Van Halen, Video

VHND is powered by Van Halen Store

EDDIE VAN HALEN FUNKO POPS

Eddie Funko Pops at Van Halen Store

LATEST POSTS

  • The Mystery Behind Alex Van Halen’s “Hot For Teacher” Drum Intro
  • David Lee Roth’s Summer Tour Is Bringing the Party Back
  • Watch Sammy Hagar’s Full Noblesville Show From The Best Of All Worlds Tour
  • Sammy Hagar Opens 2026 Tour with a Celebration of Van Halen
  • Steve Lukather Clarifies Alex Van Halen’s Upcoming Project: “These Are Finished Tracks With Ed And Al”

EVH MINI GUITARS

EVH MINI GUITARS at Van Halen Store

LATEST COMMENTS

  • LarryLurex70 LarryLurex70 But, in other news, M&M’s is discontinuing brown candies this summer. Which iconic legendary Rock frontman comes to mind when hearing that, hmm?

    David Lee Roth’s Summer Tour Is Bringing the Party Back ·  5 hours ago

  • HighnDry HighnDry You either get it or you don't! I am fortunate to get to see 2 different shows on this tour! Go for the fun! Leave your life behind for 90 min! Life is too short to criticize everything!

    David Lee Roth’s Summer Tour Is Bringing the Party Back ·  yesterday

  • LarryLurex70 LarryLurex70 That’s an interesting thing for him to say. When I go see Maiden play, it’s not to hear Dickinson sing. But, he’s always been a hell of a frontman. Kinda like someone else I’m reminded of.

    David Lee Roth’s Summer Tour Is Bringing the Party Back ·  yesterday

  • LarryLurex70 LarryLurex70 If it’s really 1986, it’s the year BEFORE anyone outside NYC heard of Flava Flav and Public Enemy’s debut album. As with the Vegas residency, Roth ahead of the pack as always.

    David Lee Roth’s Summer Tour Is Bringing the Party Back ·  yesterday

  • EdAl DaveMike EdAl DaveMike Drumeo has such great content. Nice to see all the love from other drummers. I hope Alex eventually recovers enough where he can do one of their “hears ____ for the first time” challenges a la...

    The Mystery Behind Alex Van Halen’s “Hot For Teacher” Drum Intro ·  yesterday

Van Halen Sleeveless Shirt

Van Halen Sleeveless Tee at Van Halen Store

ALBUM PAGES

Van Halen I – Van Halen II – Women and Children First – Fair Warning – Diver Down – Right Here, Right Now – Balance – A Different Kind of Truth

Posts by month

Copyright © 2026 VHND.com. All Rights Reserved · Disclaimer: VHND is not affiliated with Van Halen, Edward Van Halen or ELVH, Inc.