August 31, 2000 - The latter half of the year 2000 looks to be a busy one for the hard rock band that defined a generation, as Spinal Tap readies for the re-release of their This Is Spinal Tap rockumentary, plays a handful of gigs beginning in September at the House of Blues in Hollywood and unveils their answer to the Metallica/Limp Biskit/Napster dispute - the online downloadable music source Tapster.

What's any of this got to do with Van Halen you ask? Well fans of David Lee Roth's first three solo albums will be alarmed to hear that Nigel Tufnel, David St. Hubbins, and Derek Smalls have tapped (pun intended) former DLR drummer Gregg Bissonette to perform percussion work on their latest single Back From The Dead which is available for download at Tapster.com.

Although Sir Skippy Skuffleton is given official credit for the drum work on the track, and Bissonette is listed as the song's percussionist, the thought of the Prince of Pound accepting the gig as Tap's official drummer should have DLR fans dusting off those old Gregg Bissonette autographs in anticipation of hitting the motherload on ebay as soon as Bissonette meets his untimely demise. Our condolences go out in advance to Gregg's lovely wife and extended family.

Other drummers to have worn (and later been buried in) the mantel as Tap's most replaceable member include Joe "Mama" Besser (disappeared in 1982 with the band's equipment), Peter "James" Bond (1949-77, spontaneously combusted at the Isle of Lucy Blues/Jazz - alternately Jazz/Blues - Festival), Eric "Stumpy Joe" Childs (1945-74, choked on someone else's vomit), John "Stumpy" Pepys (1943-69, bizarre gardening accident), Mick Shrimpton (1948-82, spontaneously combusted on stage) and Ric Shrimpton (whereabouts unknown).

Keyboardist Viv Savage (best known to Tapaholics as the orator of such legendary rock and roll clichÈs as "Have a good time, all the time") is also reported to have met with an untimely death during a swamp gas explosion. Unbeknownst to the band at the time, Savage had played the drums until the age of 15. Rumors have since surfaced that Savage may still be alive performing with a group called the Viv Savage Experience.

By John Maxwell